Neither Here nor There: Travels in Europe

Like many of his generation, Bill Bryson backpacked across Europe in the early seventies -- in search of enlightenment, beer, and women. Twenty years later he decided to retrace the journey he undertook in the halcyon days of his youth. The result is Neither Here Nor There, an affectionate and riotously funny pilgrimage from the frozen wastes of Scandinavia to the chaotic tumult of Istanbul, with stops along the way in Europe's most diverting and historic locales. Like many of his generation, Bill Bryson backpacked across Europe in the early seventies--in search of enlightenment, beer, and women. Twenty years later he decided to retrace the journey he undertook in the halcyon days of his youth. The result is Neither Here Nor There, an affectionate and riotously funny pilgrimage from the frozen wastes of Scandinavia to the chaotic tumult of Istanbul, with stops along the way in Europe's most diverting and historic locales.

Well, to those who fail to catch the humor here: book a flight to Europe, and see for yourselves. Europeans aren't somehow beyond the possibility of being unintentionally funny, and Bryson is not being an 'ugly American' for pointing out their foibles in very funny ways--witness, for example, his devastatingly funny transliteration of Dutch conversation, or his adventures getting travellers' checks replaced after they've been stolen by a Gypsy girl in Italy.

Bryson is also honest. He tells you what he likes, and what he doesn't, and, far from being xenophobic or parochial, he's perfectly willing to change his mind when a place he visits either exceeds or falls short of his expectations. He lavishes praise on the most unlikely of destinations, and avoids the fawning tones of many travel writers who feel somehow obligated to adore every place they visit, especially the most famous ones. All real travellers are familiar with this phenomenon: the most intense joys of travel are most likely to be experienced in the least obvious places, and often at the most inopportune times.

Finally, Bryson is simply funny, and this book is too. I hope he comes to Asia next.


Europe is so wonderful! So picturesque! (Too bad it's inhabited by all those Europeans.)   July 24, 2006
Rennie Petersen (Copenhagen, Denmark)
42 out of 66 found this review helpful

In 1990 Bill Bryson set out to "do Europe". He says that his motivation was to relive his experiences from tours in Europe in 1972 and 1973 when he was a young student wandering around Europe with a backpack.

In reality it seems as if the primary reason for Bill Bryson to do this trip was so that he could then write a funny book about the trip.

"Neither Here Nor There" is, in fact, a very funny book, at least in the beginning. Bill Bryson can describe situations in a very humorous way, and he's willing to make fun of himself, as well as everything around him.

Unfortunately, after a while the humor wears thin. Then it wears very thin. Then you begin to dissect the humor, and realize that you've been had.

Bill Bryson's method of traveling is to emulate the kind of tourism we all like to ridicule. He typically arrives by train in a new city in the evening. He has no hotel reservation so he has to spend time finding a hotel that is not really what he wanted. He sees "the sights" that one is supposed to see in that city. He makes no effort to get in touch with the local people, to learn about their lives, or to understand their country and society. He spends typically 2-3 days in each city and then goes to work on figuring out how to get to the next city or country on his list, which often leads to further complications.

This is obviously not the way to travel if you're writing a travel book. Nobody in their right mind would want to read about this kind of traveling.

But Bill Bryson is not writing a travel book, he's writing a funny book, and he has a sure-fire recipe:

1. Do things in problematic ways, and then make fun of all the trials and tribulations that result.

2. Mix in lots of flashbacks to the trips of your youth, with much juvenile humor related to the drives that young men are so driven by.

3. Feign incomprehension about everything foreign and satirize everything that is unfamiliar.

4. Make funny remarks intended to reinforce national prejudices.

This last type of humor can be especially tiring. Here are a few examples to illustrate what I mean:

"Let's face it, the French Army couldn't beat a girls' hockey team." (pg 32)

"The (German) women still don't shave their armpits. ... They all look so beautiful and stylish, and then they lift up their arms and there's a Brillo pad hanging there." (pg 91)

"In Norway, three people and a bottle of beer is a party; in Sweden the national sport is suicide." (pg 97)

"But the most preposterous law of all, a law so pointless as to scamper along the outer reaches of the surreal, is the Swedish one that requires motorists to drive with their headlights on during the daytime." (pg 110)

"I love the way the Italians park. You turn any street corner in Rome and it looks as if you've just missed a parking competition for blind people." (pg 123)

In conclusion, if you're someone who "did Europe" in your youth and you want to relive fond memories in a humorous way, then you may well like this book. Most other readers will probably start out laughing, then smiling, then wondering why the jokes seem to have lost their appeal, and finally ending up wishing they'd picked a real travel book or a real humorous book.

Rennie Petersen

PS. Just for the record, here is a list of the places covered: Norway (Hammerfest, Oslo), France (Paris), Belgium (Brussels, Bruges, Spa, Durbuy), Germany (Aachen, Cologne, Hamburg), Holland (Amsterdam), Denmark (Copenhagen), Sweden (Gothenburg, Stockholm), Italy (Rome, Naples, Sorrento, Capri, Florence, Milan, Como), Switzerland (Brig, Geneva, Bern), Liechtenstein, Austria (Innsbruck, Salzburg, Vienna), Yugoslavia (Split, Sarajevo, Belgrade), Bulgaria (Sofia), Turkey (Istanbul).


Not a travel guide but for pure entertainment - VERY funny   March 1, 2001
K. Corn (Indianapolis,, IN United States)
22 out of 27 found this review helpful

If you're looking for a travel book to use when you explore Europe, this one won't be the most useful book out there. But if you are looking for entertainment, want to learn a bit about Europe and are prepared to laugh uproariously, this is a great choice. Bryson skewers the traditions and habits of other countries, recounts many hilarious experiences during his travels and describes some of the best (and worst) destinations in Europe. He has a fine writing style, casual, breezy and unique. The section on waiting for The Northern Lights to appear - and waiting and waiting for days on end - was worth the price of the book alone.


No need to get in a fuss-this truly is a hilarious read!   May 13, 2001
22 out of 25 found this review helpful

I believe there are more than enough reviews here to decifer whether or not you plan to read this charming, witty and candid book. However, as an Australian raised in both Europe and America, I must heed a warning to those of you who read the negative reviews by Europeans and Asians. DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM!! They obviously lack a sense of humour and the ability to laugh at themselves (unlike Bryson). Bryson can be provincial at times, but he is so charming indeed! One who has traveled for days in a foreign land can understand his exhaustion and frustration and will howl with laughter.

Yes, Bryson at times can be brutally honest with his opinion of foreign countries and their inhabitants and culture, but they are HIS OPINIONS and they are frankly FUNNY and quite observant. I suppose those who take offense to his opinions neglected to understand that Bryson is a brazen self critic and will unabashedly admit to his lack of sophistication due to his stereotypical midwestern American upbringing. Please take no notice to the malevolence of the quazi-sensitive and humourless French and Germans who negatively reviewed this charming and engaging work.

Give the man a break and give this book a READ...Unless you possess absolutely no sense of humour, you will find it quite enjoyable!


200+ pages of whingeing and surliness   August 12, 2000
16 out of 28 found this review helpful

I did not find this book funny. I DID find it mean-spirited, intolerant, and whiny. And let me state for the record that I have backpacked through many of the countries Mr Bryson visited.

I have only the following to say to him:

- The idea of traveling is to be able to experience and encounter new cultures societies and accept them for what they are, not to criticise, criticise, and then criticise some more. So the Germans and Swiss have an inordinate number of rules, and the French cut queues. Nobody asked you to visit, and if you don't like it you can always go home.

- Not everyone speaks English.

- The Second World War ended 55 years ago (or 45 years at the time he wrote the book). It is not nice to keep harping on it, when those responsible for it have expressed their contrition and been punished. (If he has a problem with the Second War, go pick on the Japanese, who seem able only to whine about 2 nuclear bombs being dropped on them and have conveniently forgotten the countless atrocities they committed in Asia.)

- Industrial development is an inevitable part of progress. It cannot always be done in a pretty manner, and even if it could, that might cost money which the country can ill-afford to spend. So too bad if you find that your sense of aesthetics offended; the decisions of governments are not made with only you in mind.

- It's perverted to want a place to have more dangerous, reckless drivers just to fit your image of what that country should be like.

- Things change in 18 years. Doubtless you were a lot more tolerant when you were 20. It's sad to devote a holiday to revisiting the places you went to long ago and, instead of reveling in the familiar amidst the different, spend it tut-tutting about how different it was 18 years ago. Quit dwelling in the past!

- It would be nice if you could be happy about more tourist dollars enriching the local economy instead of whingeing about the inconvenience additional tourists pose to YOUR personal comfort.

- You complain about hordes of American/Japanese/German tourists spoiling everything, and bemoan the prospect of more tourists on group tours clogging up Europe. That's not the problem, the problem is all the whingeing that emits from these tourists, and unfortunately, in terms of attitude, you are indistinguishable from them.

- A holiday goes a lot easier if you PLAN and BOOK in advance. Then you won't have to spend so much time queueing for tickets only to be told they were sold out ages ago. Then you won't have to complain so much.

- On the last page, you state a desire to forge on ahead and see Asia. PLEASE DON'T COME HERE. You can't even survive Europe without complaining about the crowds and the litter and the service and the people. What makes you think you can survive here? And we can do without the worst kind of tourist of all - a cross between the American whinger and the intolerant Englishwoman he complains infests Italy.