The Pearl of Kuwait: A Novel of the Gulf War

The above is a pretty fair rendition of the prose style contained in this novel--which is told in the first person by Carmichael--and if you found your eyes glazing over by the end of the paragraph, imagine reading three hundred and ten pages of it. In case you missed the point, Carmichael is a moron. This pretty much ruins the novel, which is too bad, particularly since there's the outline of a pretty good story in here.

Yes, they do rescue a Kuwaiti Princess after she tries to drown herself in the Gulf. After the war begins, they go AWOL so that they can go to Kuwait to rescue her from the Iraqis. Along the way they meet many unusual Arabs, encounter bizarre customs, and have some truly remarkable adventures. Remarkable, unfortunately, to the point of almost being unbelievable, and almost unbelievable because the narrator, simple-minded as he is, is incapable of putting them in perspective. How nice it would have been for him to have had offered an explanatory note once in a while, or even to comment on how surprised HE was at some of these goings on. But nope, all we get is child-like, wide-eyed wonder, expressed in the voice of a buffoon.

Here are some examples of the profundities: " . . . Trang and me were discovering these Arab folk were way different from us Americans, and it was kind of a bummer." Wow. "And it was so cool, and put me right into the ancient past with caravans and all, and I looked down at my own robe, and thought: Cool! Cool! Cool!" How revealing. "Anyway, that song [American Band] kind of cracked me up, because we were sort of an American band, heading to the town of Kuwait, and maybe we would even get a chance to teach the locals to party American-style!" This is what passes for enlightenment.

It's a shame. Because there really is a good story in here trying to get out, and at least the hint of a theme as well, having to do with Americans imposing their values on other cultures. But as presented here, the story comes across as a Scooby-Doo cartoon, with the wit and intelligence to match. Don't believe the hype. Huckleberry Finn this ain't.


page turner and funny   March 4, 2003
4 out of 4 found this review helpful

what an insightfuland delightful and kind of funny/sad look at the idealism of America and our soldiers. At the same time an incredible peek into Arabic culture, its relationship with the west, its oppression of women and the adsudity of its newfound oil wealth. Any reader will not be able to put this book down after 10 pages. Part romance, part adventure, all remarkably written by a master "chaneller" of character.


Rock the Casbah   March 13, 2003
David R. Surette (S. Easton, MA United States)
4 out of 5 found this review helpful

Try reading this book with the TV news in the background and your head will spin. Tom Paine has grounded his story so deep in the sand of the Middle East that we are happy to take this wild ride with our Marine guide Cody "Cowboy " Carmichael and his buddy and muse Tommy Trang. This is a book for when my buddies ask if I've read anything good lately I can say, "Have I got a book for you." It's every boy's fantasy of war: guns, guts, glory, and girls. And you can read without guilt because it's so much more. Like "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," the adventures are merely the engine for digging out deeper truths. Paine's two Marines Cody and Trang are unable to do anything by the book but carry the Bill of Rights in one pocket and a heart in the other. They believe the two things can change the world along with an occasional act of heroism. It's a recipe for life and for a great story.


Fear and Loathing meets Catch-22   October 29, 2003
Michael S. Patrick (Indianapolis, IN United States)
3 out of 3 found this review helpful

The book promises a rollicking adventure of story after story; it delivers with the whipcrack of hilarity reserved for a Tarantino movie.

The prose is based on attitude, not on literary style, and the surfer style speech is not so different from A Clockwork Orange in that you KNOW you are in a different world. Don't fault the story premise for a style of writing you may not be used to, and in fact, find annoying at times: the same way Chaucer wrote - he couldn't help it!

Rarely do I read a book and laugh out loud, but this one was a pleasure in that it was light and funny and had sexy Arab babes, daring adventures, macho stupidity, confusing culture clashes like KFC meets Felafel Bell but it is funnier than Hell.

The characters reminded me of T.C. Boyle's book Water Music, another underrated adventure story, in that they don't move, they bounce from place to place, like Kerouac on Ecstasy.


an almost magical travel story   January 7, 2005
Tracy Middlebrook (Seattle, WA USA)
2 out of 2 found this review helpful

Wow, this book was great! The Los Angeles Times called it "a straight-ahead adventure tale in the vein of HUCKLEBERRY FINN" and they were so right. Trying to remember back to High School English and the terms for Mark Twain-style novels...pastoral, perhaps? Whatever it is, this book is a gem. I don't normally read novels about the Marine Corps, but this is SO much more than just the USMC in the 1st Gulf War (OOORAH!!). It's a lovely, slightly mythical narration of the adventures (or mis-adventures) of two unexpectedly AWOL marines. There's a Kuwaiti princess to rescue, a mythical pearl, camel racing, beduoins...it's a great travel yarn that has the war as an often distant backdrop. Made me think about patriotism, etc without ever really getting preachy. The narrative style is very innocent and genuine. Private Carmichael (formerly a stoner-surfer from CA) tells his story faithfully and openly. Very wonderful. I'm so glad I picked it up. I'd love to see this novel in an English class...lots of meaty things to sink ones teeth into. Also, I'm sure there's a lot of meanings behind the rock and roll lyrics that Carmichael thinks of throughout the story. Great fun!!